the internet will rot your brain

misc august 010BLOG

Ha, that photo cracks me up.  Pretty much sums up media/kids in the 21st century.  In reality, Connor was being really nice to his baby brother and stopped what he was doing, online, to pull up kid’s songs/videos on the web.  Corrigan goes pretty slackjawed whenever there is music and videos…it just melts his brain to think of the awesomeness that is a web clip. 

Not much to report on this month (thank goodness?)  Corrigan has been metabolically stable since the 4th of July weekend. Not quite walking yet. He is still not brave enough to walk too many steps without dropping to the floor.  We have counted 5-6 steps, unassisted but I know he could do more but is just not ready.  Yesterday he woke up and waved “bye bye” pretty much all day long.   The waving thing feels important though because it is the one question that Hopkins asks  at each check-up, the Infants and Toddlers therapists all ask as well so answering “no” to “does he wave yet?” these last few months has felt like an odd failure.  

The strange thing about Corrigan is that, aside from walking, he is an “off or on” kind of kid. He doesn’t try do something for days or weeks and then masters it…he simply doesn’t do something one day and then suddenly does it when he is good and ready. His milestones always seem so much more dramatic because of this even though they are probably not dramatic at all.  He did something else for the first time, yesterday and bad mama that I am…it has totally slipped my mind *. erg.

Connor has had 4 or 5 good soccer practices and Mark reports that he has become very confident at going for the ball and his kicks are looking great. I do not think that the coach has assigned any positions yet and the first game has not been determined either.  Connor is so much more vibrant playing sports (and hungry! wow, that kid can suddenly eat!)  and he is sleeping great too. I know that he has been dealing with some anxiety about our financial situation and it was keeping him up late at night but now he is so whooped that he is sleeping much more easily.  Whew!

Mark and I were discussing bills and some banking problems today ( we thought out of earshot, wrong) and I had just said to Mark, ” If we pay the water bill we are, seriously, flat broke” and Connor must have had his ears on high alert.  He came up to me, making me sob like a dork, and said, “Mom, you can have all of my money for bills, I don’t care at all.”    The thing is, he WOULD care…but not in a bad way..or a resentful way, but his money is important to him.  If he is given money for birthdays or holidays or report cards or allowance he puts it all in the bank. If he is given a gift card it will sit in his wallet until he is absolutely sure that he wants what he is about to buy but with a gift card it eventually gets spent but his money?  That stuff is for his future,  you know.  He wants to make sure that he has money to start his life, he will tell you.  He has almost $1500.00 in his account. He is not proud of it, nor boastful. He simply heard a message about being a good steward of his money and believes that God wants him to be frugal and wise with it. 

and he offered it to me. and yes, it matters and maybe he even hopes I say “no” and does the “please please please say no” thing in his head when offering but he means it and would never ever complain if I said “yes.”   To say that I am blessed is an understatement.

I find myself being less thankful 2 months into this new life.  I try to stop and reevaluate my attitude when I find myself feeling sorry for myself. Standing at Walmart, trying to figure out if I really really need that 3-pack of uber-generic papertowels…that $1.97 might better be used on babywipes.  When Connor only has two pairs of shorts for soccer practice and a few months ago I would have thought nothing of heading out to buy him three new outfits, tops and  bottoms…now I feel like I won the lottery when I see Starter shorts on clearance for $3.00 but realize that I can only get one pair and that I have to put the mouthwash back on the shelf.   I feel stupid.  I wonder how I got here…I look longingly into other shopper’s carts as they pass by full of new clothes and supplies for school…but then I readjust. 

Someone said, on a message board that I frequent, that you are not really “broke” if you still have food to feed your kids, a roof over your heads and two pennies in your wallet.  We have ALL of those things. I have tons of pennies. I have tons of food.  I have a very capable roof over my head…I can still buy my son a $3.00 pair of new shorts…and I have my husband’s love, a stable baby and a 12 year old that would give me every last cent he had if it made me happier.

shut up, stupid brain. what we have is still good.  what we have is enough. what we have is priceless.

 

eta* I remembered the milestone I had previously forgotten.  Corrigan can throw a ball! I have no idea if this is something he should be doing yet or not. I do not own any baby books or magazines. From the moment that we found out Cor’s diagnosis the way I look at milestones has changed. At first, I refused to buy any magazines or books because if Corrigan wasn’t going to be meeting those milestones I couldn’t stand having proof of his disability in my face…however now that he is so amazing and really who the heck CARES the books declare “on time” or not…I do not buy them just because I want to enjoy everything he does for what it is…wonderful because HE is doing it, when HE is ready to do it.  That being said, with so many early-intervention folk in our lives ( we love them! ) we are aware of milestones, the big ones (like waving, apparently?) but really are unaware of when the little things might be occuring.

He holds on tightly to a ball in his right hand, rarely throws it but whatever ball touches his left hand gets gripped and then pitched, with pretty good speed and accuracy. He tossed a ball from our large couch, across the room to the loveseat last evening. I just wanted to mention it because I think it is pretty cool.

3 thoughts on “the internet will rot your brain

  1. Loved seeing more of Connor in this pic. The look on Corrigan’s face certainly predicts the future. Remember he’s the outdoors kid. Let’s try to keep him that way! Love Dad

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