2 years ago today

 Two years ago today we got the call from the lab that we were pregnant.  That evening we sat down to tell Connor.  When we said, “Connor, sit down we have to talk” he immediately said, ” Is something wrong with Grandma?”  When we assured him that everyone was fine he refused to sit…his eyes then grew large and he said, with barely a whisper, ” You are pregnant” and when I replied, “yes” his eyes filled with tears.

“Of all of the worst things that could happen to our family, this is the WORST” he said…and then he sobbed.

I was so sure that this “two kid” thing was not going to work out. I was certain that Connor would resent his brother forever.

on April 18, 2008…a little more than a month before Corrigan was born I posted this on another blog site…

tonight, Mark said, “today I had a flash…a sort of vision…of you holding the baby and me working and Connor down the hall in his room with the door closed, alone..and it really broke my heart”  and while I appreciate his honesty and that he trusts me with his feelings and thoughts..I wanted to scream at him. I’ve worked so hard to convince myself that this baby isnt going to “ruin” things with my first born. Now, with his one sentence all of my fears are reignited and I cannot sleep. ”

I did not stop worrying about it until I got a report from my family an hour after Corrigan was born.  As I lay in recovery, they told me that Connor was in tears, smiling so hard it had to hurt and complaining that the nurse that was wiping down the baby was “really hurting him, someone needs to make her STOP.”  

haha. That fierce protectiveness has never waned with Connor. He loves that little baby with all of his heart. And while this date, two years ago, is bittersweet looking back…it only amplifies how full of happiness and delight our family is with the way things have changed.

2 years ago today

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