Corrigan is feeling much better today.
Can you tell?
(The finger in the mouth…pretty much permanent. Those rotten stinkin’ molars.)
Last night I was thinking how I have zero self-control anymore.
Not in the sense that I just walk up and whack someone in the face because they took my ball …but in the sense that if I want to eat something. I just do.
Just snacking the day away.
Well, that isn’t totally honest. I do fairly well the majority of the day…it is those evenings that get me.
Now that Mark is working…I put the boys to bed, turn on my Ipod, grab a soda and a bag of chips (or whatever else I feel like) and settle down in front of the computer until whatever hour suits me.
I don’t like this lack of self-control. I think that it is just because I have no defined schedule…I do not have to go to work, comb my hair, put on makeup…answer to anyone, really…the entire day because if Mark is not working..he is sleeping. All. Day.Long.
Also, me? Emotional eater.
If Corrigan is having a bad day, I stress. I watch him like a hawk, a count his calories and protein over and over…I stand in front of the cupboards and try to concoct some sort of magically-delicious food combination that will make him open wider than Pavarotti (Wow, that works on two levels. )
When he refuses the food (again) I worry more…and find myself standing in front of the cupboard thinking about some magically-delicious food combination for myself.
And then I feel better.
I do not do well with long-term goals, they overwhelm me,(and I am a bit of a wussy) but I remember loving a challenge when I was younger. I would just think of something arbitrary, something I liked, and give it up for a week, or two…or a month.
Many years back, when I blogged in a place called diaryland (does that place still exist? oh those heady young days of internet journaling) I challenged myself to not use contractions, not a single one, for a month.
Now I am too lazy to type apostrophes.
Who needs ’em?
I mean, I dont (<–that one’s deliberate) even have to hit the shift key to use an apostrophe.
lazy, lazy, lazy
So I made a list of four things I am going to challenge myself to do (or not do) for one week.
Starting today tomorrow ( today=anniversary of “day we met” <–what are we, like 12? Occasion for CAKE!! *nom nom nom*) or Monday. I don’t know. It’s all so fluid.
A lazy girl has to start out slowly, you see.
1. No snacking after 7pm. (Sometimes we eat a later dinner because of Mark’s schedule or I would have chosen 5pm)
2. One orangejuice glass of soda a day…not a drop more ( The soda love is a recent thing, for years I wouldn’t touch the stuff. Now I have a Dr. Pepper problem.)
3. Before I can drink a cup of coffee, I have to drink a 4 ounce glass of water. No bending of this rule. My water intake is horrid. I think my kidneys are probably shriveled up like Craisins (mmmmm…dried cranberries. Know what would make them awesome? If they were dipped in chocolate. )
4. No biting my nails…fingers out of mouth.
This is another strange habit I have that comes and goes. I have gone as long as 4 years without biting my nails, after having nibbled them down to the quick for my entire youth…and then, one day, I just bit them off again. (It was during a particularly tense episode of LOST, season 2, I was sitting on Petra’s couch…funny how you remember the exact moment that you fall off of your wagon.)
It is such a bizarre habit. And for a germ-freak, like me, it is sort of mind boggling that I consider nibbling nails a GOOD IDEA. *shudders*
So there are my four goals for one week.
I know, I know…you admire my tenacity. I am, like, worthy of awe. You want to be. me, right?
Up next, one week of delusion-free blogging.
That’s going to be a tough one.
Finally, I am really not good at keeping goals unless I do it with a partner.
Petra is normally my weight-loss partner…she keeps me focused and we are a great team…but this time I am going to use Corrigan as my “anti-snacking” buddy.
I don’t think that he is going to like this week at all.