weary and burdened.

*Update Saturday afternoon: Corrigan has finished all but 6 ounces of his medicine/formula.  He needs to finish the rest by 5pm but this is the most he has drank in days. Much like when you get frustrated with your hair and finally decide to get it chopped off..and then the day of your appointment you have the best hairday ever? That is Corrigan since we spent the majority of yesterday consulting his experts on the g-tube.  We have some decisions to make….and they do not hinge on this one day of “decent” eating…but it is nice that he got what he needed in and can be stable another day (hopefully!)


*Update: Friday evening.  Corrigan still will not eat. Not a bite by mouth today. Pushing his bottles away. I have no idea why he has just turned off his desire for his formula but I suppose we are just waiting for the crisis to hit at this point. I cant shove it down his throat. Its so frustrating…he is not getting his meds…not getting his protein…unless something changes the hospital is in our near future.



Corrigan has not been feeling well for almost 6 days now.

His upset tummy is still producing some nasty results and while I am fighting so hard to avoid dehydration…he is fighting anything I put near his mouth.

We are not meeting our caloric goals…nor our protein goals…and coupled with the fluid loss from the diarrhea we could be approaching a metabolic upset if something doesn’t change really soon.

His last ammonia was 23..and that was after 3 days of poor eating..so the little leprechaun is a tough cookie.

No fever either… so that is good too.

I need him to eat though and I cannot rest for worry over it all.

Though really, whether I am stressing it now (at 2am) or at 2pm…every single day is a challenge when it comes to Corrigan and his dietary needs.

The excess seratonin in his brain causes almost anorexic lack of appetite.

It’s times like these that I wonder if the G-tube really is in our future.

They warned us it would be…I was so hoping Corrigan would prove them wrong.

If you are the praying type…can you pray that Corrigan becomes ravenous for food and drink?

Can you also pray that I can lay down this constant fear?

I’m having a hard time letting it go.



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