wake up, Mama!

I think that Corrigan is a ninja.  Not a full-time ninja or anything but a middle-of-the-night ninja.  3/4 of the day he stomps around the house, babbling in his wacky way and seemingly incapable of being silent.

However, at 3am when he wakes for the day, he suddenly possesses the feather-light footsteps of a kitten. Which kind of gives me an idea to buy a little bell and tie it around his ankle. Thanks blog!

Anyway, each early morning he pads stealthily from his bed to find me.  These days I am often on the couch because I stay awake until his evening feed is finished due to frequent DOSE DONE errors on his pump (and fears that he will strangle himself on the tubing) so that by the time I have him flushed and unhooked it is near 1am.   At that hour of the morning, I hesitate to go to sleep in my bed mainly because Mark has already been asleep for hours and if I wake him at all coming into bed he will be unable to fall back asleep.

So I find myself stretched out on the couch for a few hours until Corrigan decides that he has had enough sleep. That is normally around 2:30-3 am.  Right smack in the middle of my REM sleep Corrigan slides down the hallway and, I assume, stands over me in the dark. I imagine him mentally willing me to wake for several minutes, breathing his hot breath just inches from my face.

If I should open my eyes it kind of looks like this…

…only the hair is more insane and one eye is a little droopier.  It is truly startling.

While I sleep Corrigan makes one of two decisions.  Most of the time he goes over to his play table and finds one or two of his foam letters, or one of his Lightning McQueen stacking rubber tires (not life-size, thank goodness, ’cause that would be hard for a toddler) and gently places them on my chest.

Sometimes this wakes me, but most times it does not and then Corrigan is forced to resort to his second tactic.

INSTIGATING A HEART ATTACK.

Mainly he will whack me sharply on my forehead with the palm of his hand, at which I startle wake, heart pounding in my chest…not noticing the pain because when you are half-asleep you can be shot in the face and not feel it right away…and as I sit up in a daze a few toys toppled from my chest to my lap.

However last night he tried something new.  After placing a few toys on my body and realizing that I was not going to wake…and probably a bit amused at my open-mouth snoring…he crooked his pointer finger, inserted it into my mouth and then fish-hooked me off of the couch. For real.  He pulled me with such force that my body nearly fell from the couch to the floor.

What. The. HECK?!?!?!?!?!?!

I prevented a full face plant onto the floor by instinctively throwing out my left arm and caught myself just in time and as I sat up groggily there was my little ninja goblin, with his Messy Marvin hair, standing there in the glow of the desk lamp and smiling at me like I was the funniest thing in the world. Before I could say anything at all about the unkind wake-up maneuver he said, “Bubble?” and signed the word “please.”

*sigh*

At least it does not require much energy to blow bubbles at 3am.

4 thoughts on “wake up, Mama!

  1. I’m so sorry, but I literally just laughed until tears are dripping off my face!! And Then I tried to read this to Ryan.

    You are an amazing writer!

    Like

  2. Oh Lordy, I’m sorry, but I’m with Stacy… only I laughed until I can’t hardly breathe. Where is my inhalor when I need it?

    I am so glad for your November “promise” of daily postings. Your writing is wonderful and I check daily for a new one.

    Like

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