He is the teacher and I am willing to learn

He changes so much every single day.  It is an absolute privilege to watch him learn and grow.  Some things that “they” warned us that he might never do…he now does.  He is delayed, that is true but he is moving forward, there is progress.  He just doesn’t follow anyone’s time line but his own.  He does not worry about the therapists and their “typical” developmental schedules and he does not notice Mama’s concerns about this or that.  Corrigan wakes up each and every day (thank you Lord!) and marches to the beat of his own drum.

He is making me old, yet somehow keeping me young all at the same time.

There is no denying that this kid is special.  The hell that he has been through I have documented here but those scars are fading. Both the physical and emotional ones.  Slowly but surely the joy is flowing from inside of him and it shines upon all of us all day long.

I see intelligence in the sparkle of his eyes.  I see love and an adorable sense of humor in his smile.  I can think of no greater sound in the world than that of his laugh.  I could stare at him until my eyes crossed, so thankful I am that he is still here.

Last week our UCD community was shocked at the loss of another sweet child to this disorder.  It rocks me to my core that one day Corrigan could be so full of light and the next he could be gone.  I suppose that is a fear of any mother, regardless of the health of her child.  My worries are not unfounded nor irrational, it is because of his Citrullinemia the chance of losing Corrigan is real.  Yet each time I learn of another child that has died as a result of their Urea Cycle Disorder it is not fear that first fills my body, but an overwhelming thankfulness that I get to look into his face at least one more day.

I can never say “thank you” enough, to my God, for allowing me the pleasure of this child.

My curly haired, mop-topped, crooked-toothed, stinker.   I adore you more than any words can say.

Don’t even try to hide it…there is no forcing back happiness.

How lucky am I to see this everyday?

We love you Corrigan. Keep teaching us what is important.  We are watching and listening.


2 thoughts on “He is the teacher and I am willing to learn

  1. What a beautiful post! It’s so wonderfully written. Of course I can relate so much! Our children are special! They are intelligent! And they will do things when they feel like it.
    You and I are the lucky ones for being able to witness every moment with them and to be their momma!



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