When you marry someone you are marrying them for who they are at that moment, as opposed to who they might be later. Well, unless you have big plans to “change” your partner the moment the honeymoon ends, that is.
When I married Mark he told me that he did not want kids. I didn’t believe him and when Connor was born two years later, I knew he didn’t mean it. That was one proud Daddy carrying his newborn down the hall to the nursery. He was supposed to put him in the incubator for the walk from the OR but once they put Connor in his arms, there was no way he was giving him back.
I knew I married a good man. Over time, as we have both matured, he has proven to be a tremendously good man. From that 23-year-old new husband ( I know…young, right?) to the 39-year-old man that he is now, in all incarnations along the way, he has never wavered in the strong man of character that he is. He is raising his boys to be honest, loving and generous of spirit. He considers his job as “Dad” to be one of the most important aspects of his life.
When Corrigan was born things changed quickly and suddenly he wasn’t just a plain ‘ol Dad. He became a “special needs” Daddy. He watched his youngest boy struggle to live, sat by that ancient dialysis machine for days while it whisked his blood clean, and drove home many nights, at 2am, when the baby was sick and transported to Baltimore-because he had to work the next day and he had his other boy to take care of too. I could see the pain in his eyes at having to leave us behind, but resolved that he needed to bet here for Connor too. He has held us all up when times were dark, he is my rock. There really is no other way to describe him.
He probably knew that someone had to be sane in the family. No matter my anxiety at the “what-if’s” in our situation, he keeps his cool. He has talked me down from so many emotional ledges, many born of my inability to stop worrying, and remains steadfast in his belief that ALL of this, even the really crappy hard stuff, is for a reason…a divine reason.
I seriously couldn’t have done this without him.
Happy Father’s Day Mark. Your boys love you very much, and so do I.